12 September 2011
Dear Tourism Australia
Dear Tourism Australia,
I believe our efforts to stimulate the Australian economy
through the tourism dollar may be severely hampered by the Film and
If it's not the Dingoes, the deranged psycho killers or drop
bears, then Ned Kelly is definitely going to come and get you. We
may still attract a certain range of travellers in search of
hallucinogenic drugs if you are to consider that The Wiggles,
Teletubbies and Hi5 all have at the very least Australian roots.
But I would suggest that angling our campaigns towards this
demographic would be deemed inappropriate.
Perhaps the most frightening program in the line up is the
kindergarten playground live stream that we like to call parliament
In light of the startling revelations I have made over the
past 10 years about the state of our country and the general
psychosis which turns us in to mass serial killers, I believe
tourism may now be somewhat of a stretch as a major contributor to
But fear not. I bring not only Nostradamus' predictions of
doom, gloom and eternal damnation. I also have an idea that even
Darryl from the Castile could be proud of. And I think it just
Now hear me out… We use all of the stock footage, movies,
television commercials and parliamentary footage that we can
collect and turn ourselves into the world's largest, most
sustainable, admired, ground breaking (tired of the superlatives
yet??)….. Manufacturer and distributor of two very appropriate
products. Adult sized Butterfly nets and Panic Rooms.
With giant Butterfly nets, people could placate their deranged
neighbours until help arrives. Wrapping them in cosy but
When phobia from serial killers, drop bears and adults dressed
in fluorescent tutus eventually pushes people towards paranoia, we
can sell them 'Australian standards tested' panic rooms.
Two simple products to save the Australian economy.
Just a thought.
A Concerned Citizen