Wise Old Owl

Wise Old Owl

I read an article a while ago about 'younger generations' feigning technological illiteracy as to avoid explaining its use to the generations before them. Of course immediately I thought, 'Sh*t! They're onto me!' I sat up straighter, tidied my desk, cleared my to-do list of a pile of procrastination work and put on my best 'Sorry about that' - face.

Funny thing about paranoid schizophrenia medication is that you have to take it for it to kick in. It was after this revelation that I realised this phenomenon may be wider spread than I realised. And it's not just sullen teenagers avoiding teaching their parents to Facebook and LOL. It is as wide spread and generationally diverse as Weetbix consumers.

It is in the field supervisor sending their new fieldy to fetch a left-handed spanner. It is in every mother answering 'BECAUSE I SAID SO' to the 45th question of 'But why?'. And it was certainly being used when millions of children recently asked why Daddy missed seeing the Easter Bunny.

Now, on what I will lead you to believe is a completely unrelated topic and obviously through no fault of my procrastination list, I haven't quite made it to any of these five things that will one day make me famous:


  1. Make a discovery bigger than the Golden Eagle
  2. Drink my weight in Farmers Union Iced Coffee
  3. Master instant transmission
  4. Run inside the Gravitron
  5. Learn to speak fluent Cornish Game Hen


Instead we are here today going to create a new term that encompasses and really gets to the heart of this issue. Thereby making me a world renowned smart-alec and seer of the blatantly obvious (Patent pending). Heck we could even start a clinical trial. We're going to play on metaphors, analogies and stereotypes - because if soap writers can get away with it I declare we can today.

Let's take the stereotypically most and least intelligent creatures of all folk lore - being the wise owl and bleech blonde - and throw them in a blender. Ladies and Gentlemen of the wider Planet Earth area,  today we unveil - Bleached Owl Syndrome. Thank you for your support, please keep an eye out for my forth coming book.