6 December 2011
The Laugh's on Santa
To spread some holiday cheer we have put together some of our
favourite Christmas jokes as well as some do's and dont's of office
Christmas parties. Enjoy!
CHUCK NORRIS
- Christmas cards from Chuck Norris have pop-out feet that
roundhouse kick the person who opens the card.
- Chuck Norris once recieved a piece of coal for Christmas to
teach him a lesson. He proceeded to eat the coal and crap out the
Hope Diamond.
- All Chuck Norris wants for Christmas is your two front
teeth.
- Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to
see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from
Chuck.
A BIT OF TIMELY ADVICE
You Know You've Had Too Much Festive Cheer at your work
Christmas Party when...
- You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
- You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
- You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
- You strike a match and light your nose.
- You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
- You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
- You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the
closet.
- You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
- You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at
your place.
- You try to pick a fight with loud obnoxious dude... and realize
you're in front of the hall mirror.
- You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
- You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
- You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
- You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.
- You can't remember the name of the person lying naked next to
you…
IGNEOUS ROCK
(tune: Jingle Bell Rock)
Igneous, Igneous, Igneous Rock
Volcanic magma waiting to pop
Bubbling and brewing up bushels of fun
Now eruption time has begun
Igneous, Igneous, Igneous Rock
Lava starts flowing; boy, is it hot!
Molten, then cooling in crystalline layers
In the frosty air
Sedimentary
Elementary
In all tectonic plates
Metamorphic
We're euphoric
To find that pressure
Turned the shale into slate
Silica makes up a rock holding quartz
Basalt and granite blocks
A-mix and a-mingle
And Vesuvian shock
That's the Igneous Rock
Igneous, Igneous, Igneous Rock
Extrusive forms when magma is hot
Rising up from the depths of the Earth's core
Onto the surface or on the sea floor
Igneous, Igneous, Igneous Rock
Intrusive feldspar is found a lot
Crystallised slowly with grains you can spy
With the naked eye
Sedimentary
Elementary
In all tectonic plates
Metamorphic
We're euphoric
To find that pressure
Turned the shale into slate
Igneous, Igneous, Igneous Rock
Rocking around the clock
A-mix and a-mingle
And a volcanic block
That's the Igneous
That's the Igneous
That's the Igneous Rock