Wise Old Owl
I read an article a while ago about 'younger generations'
feigning technological illiteracy as to avoid explaining its use to
the generations before them. Of course immediately I thought,
'Sh*t! They're onto me!' I sat up straighter, tidied my desk,
cleared my to-do list of a pile of procrastination work and put on
my best 'Sorry about that' - face.
Funny thing about paranoid schizophrenia medication is that you
have to take it for it to kick in. It was after this revelation
that I realised this phenomenon may be wider spread than I
realised. And it's not just sullen teenagers avoiding teaching
their parents to Facebook and LOL. It is as wide spread and
generationally diverse as Weetbix consumers.
It is in the field supervisor sending their new fieldy to fetch
a left-handed spanner. It is in every mother answering 'BECAUSE I
SAID SO' to the 45th question of 'But why?'. And it was
certainly being used when millions of children recently asked why
Daddy missed seeing the Easter Bunny.
Now, on what I will lead you to believe is a completely
unrelated topic and obviously through no fault of my
procrastination list, I haven't quite made it to any of these five
things that will one day make me famous:
- Make a discovery bigger than the Golden Eagle
- Drink my weight in Farmers Union Iced Coffee
- Master instant transmission
- Run inside the Gravitron
- Learn to speak fluent Cornish Game Hen
Instead we are here today going to create a new term that
encompasses and really gets to the heart of this issue. Thereby
making me a world renowned smart-alec and seer of the blatantly
obvious (Patent pending). Heck we could even start a clinical
trial. We're going to play on metaphors, analogies and stereotypes
- because if soap writers can get away with it I declare we can
Let's take the stereotypically most and least intelligent
creatures of all folk lore - being the wise owl and bleech blonde -
and throw them in a blender. Ladies and Gentlemen of the wider
Planet Earth area, today we unveil - Bleached Owl
Syndrome. Thank you for your support, please keep an eye
out for my forth coming book.