4 April 2012

Wonder, Worship & Wizardry

Whenever I start to learn something new, particularly in a structured environment, I go through three distinct phases. The first is wonder and awe. The universe seems new and exciting again when standing at the depth of the vast pool of man's knowledge and achievement.

 

Segway to 5 weeks into a semester, one hour into a seminar or thirty minutes into a documentary and we begin to move towards phase two. Worship. Also known as 'Please God' followed by a list of requests:

  • Make this person stop talking
  • Let there be a fire alarm
  • Make this training unnecessary
  • Let the provided lunch be simply awesome

 

When prayer doesn't work - and surprisingly occasionally it does - I move on to phase three.

 

Having exhausted the rational and traditional worlds I resort to the worlds of magic and science fiction to make my final plea. Such lines of thought and discussion have included:

 

  • I wonder if I could alter the space time continuum to be both here and somewhere else. (Usually a tropical island)
  • If Harry Potter is SOOO magical, why can't he just zap the information out of his book and into his head.
  • Invariably this phase ends with me pretending to use the force to have other people in the room do my bidding for general amusement purposes. Or me using the force to choke them into silence.

 

Now if I'm alone in my educational spiral please continue to smile and nod reassuringly as you quietly back out of the room.

 

..

….

…..

 

Ha! I didn't think so. For those of you who remain my question is threefold.

  1. Why is everybody else lying about doing exactly the same thing?
  2. What is the most interesting training session you have ever attended?
  3. Would every topic be more interesting if Bear Grylls presented it?