17 September 2013

Bogan's Rant - With Michael McShane - September 2013

Bogan's Rant - With Michael McShane - September 2013

Fellow Bogans,

There's only one thing worse than mozzies at your BBQ and that's a Galah whose mouth runs faster than his HQ. Yes it's a theme this month, but what can I say? It's either I rant or a buy an industrial grade duct tape factory and fix the problem single handily. It's the month of the drastically under informed motor mouth.

To paint a picture this rage has been simmering for a while. Like a developing cyclone the people closest to me have developed watch words and predicted paths. Well consider this an intensification of the storm.

So what triggered this storm? Let's start at the beginning. 30 seconds after the election results became indisputable, at least 10 Facebook groups went up calling Tony Abbott the worst Prime Minister in history. Okay Mate, let's see what you have to say. All I found was a page covered in pseudo profanity from people who had clearly never read a single policy of the party.

I value the right to speak freely and the privilege of calling your Prime Minister a moron as much as the next bloke. But if you're going to run your motor mouth, should you not check that it's got some oil and fuel in it? Seriously. Running on empty is bad for your engine and creates a really annoying noise for those close by.

I became more and more concerned each time I read the phrase "Youse all" - Now I'm as Bogan as the next guy but please! Spare a thought before you butcher the English language.

Now I'm actually not all that defensive of Tony Abbott. He's big enough and ugly enough to look after himself and I'm not afraid to say I'm excited to see what a change in government can mean for the industry. What has put the fleas in my swag is the idea that the louder people speak or the more publicity they have, the more their opinion matters. Does anyone else see the problem with this?

I don't want my kids to make important life decisions based on whether Justin Beiber thinks they're wise or 5 of their friends liked the idea on Facebook. I don't want a company to be demonised because they've done nothing other than fall out of 'trend'. I don't want lynch mobs throwing stones at members of parliament because they're "All the same".

I do want people to add some fuel and oil to their engines before running their motor mouths. Ask something, learn something, experience something, create something. Then when your bucket is full, feel free to tell me more about what you know. I'm all ears.

Signing off

Bogan McShane


Bogan's Pet Hate for the Month: Now I don't have OCD, I have CDO. Because that's correct alphabetical order, as it should be. Part of this very important superior human condition is the understanding that things should be stored in and returned to certain places. Including but not limited to the dunny key. Seriously! I need that thing. Put it back!


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