29 January 2014

Sub-Bogan Rant - Let's hear from the Bogan's in the audience

We just love hearing your feedback to the Bogan Rant. It keeps us entertained and it keeps us motivated to keep bringing you the truth. We also love when you unleash your inner Bogan's and join us on the rant. Here are two recent, creative letters to Bogan that we just had to share with you:

Sub-Bogan Rant: Fiction Writing for Resume's - And Should I be God?

A lot of high quality fiction never makes it on the Bestseller lists, it is strictly reserved for Resume writing 

Hard times and fast times are periods when the fiction flows thickest.  During downturns there is too much time to polish the Resume. Desperation, temptation and the pernicious thought that, "Everyone else is doing, it so why not me?" collude to produce phenomenal Curriculum Vitae's that have tenuous links,at best,to a consensus reality. 

During boom times, musical geology chairs is accelerating so fast that any boast can be made and employers are so desperate for staff that they don't bother to check,even if they can track down that referee that has changed jobs 3 times in4 weeks and is now in Outer Mongolia. 

As I succumb to a hint of desperation, a splash of temptation and the self-justification that padding Resume's is the new 'normal' I am considering buffing my experience so I clearly stand out from the pack. 

Who has the most Geology experience? Who put all the minerals in the earth in the first place? God did. So if I add "I was God" to my Resume then I can claim 4.54 billion years geological experience. Fantastic! Of course that might just raise a red flag or two with a HR departmentbut if it slips through it will definitely put me in the driver's seat for that 8:6 permanent job. 

It would be just my luck to apply to a company where the CEO really does have a GOD complex and he won't want the competition. Damn! 

Hmmm maybe a superpower? It's been nearly three years since Fukushima so that's believable or I'll just save all my fiction writing for my books. I think I'll do that. 

A guide to interpreting some common Resume speak: Good leader (have been a bully since High School and it still works for me), good people person (but only when I am drunk), Computer literate (can spell computor three different ways in the same paragraph) Good team player (happy to steal credit from anyone in the team) or Good team player (as long as my team consists purely of inanimate whole rock samples or core.) 

These Geological Boots 

These boots of mine are currently covered in dubbin, well-polished, parked up and enjoying a well-earned break, however they are extremely keen to be back on deck and walking the earth on the path to making the next big discovery.

These boots and their predecessors have been working on exploration and mining projects for approximately 12 years now.

These boots are extremely well travelled they have worked in the Gobi Desert in Mongolia, Trekked through the jungles of Kalimantan, have walked over the land in Arnhem Land and have unearthed rocks all over the major geological basins in NSW and QLD of eastern Australia.

These boots have unearthed and proved up major discoveries, resources and reserves and have been covered in coal, coal seam gas and manganese for major Australian and International clients.

These boots have been involved in drilling out numerous commodities through a vast array of drilling methodologies.

These boots have been involved in organising and managing large teams effectively, efficiently and safely and are pretty keen for the next opportunity to do so.

These boots are always looking for a new opportunity and are keen to walk through numerous new or well-known commodities.

These boots would love to be involved in your current and upcoming projects and would love to help increase your company's net $$$$ and positioning on the ASX

If you choose to engage these boots for your next project they can bring along a number of co-workers pictured below to help ensure the successful and safe implementation of your project delivery requirements. 

If you would like to learn more about these boots, what they have done and what they can do for you please feel free to Contact Bogan McShane - bogan@stealthrecruit.com.au

 Do you have a Rant brewing inside you? A touching tribute to your tools of the trade? Share it with a Bogan who understands bogan@stealthrecruit.com.au