5 May 2014

Bogan's Rant - With Michael McShane - May 2014

On Wednesday last week I found myself sitting on the floor with a box of my sadness after yet another day dealing with seemingly intelligent folks acting like window lickers on a day pass.

Knowing that I look anaemic in black and my general disgust at the thought of going unbathed for any period of time I decided Emo just wasn't my scene.  So I was going to have to do something different.

On this day the 5^th of May 2015, I introduce to you Bogan's Law for Applying for Jobs You Saw on the Internet.

1. If you're a Toaster, don't try to convince me you're a Car
   I am a strong supporter of upskilling. Of learning on the job. Of slaving away to improve your future. But I work in recruitment. If my client needs a Mining Engineer, they don't have the time or the resources available to train a computer salesperson to do it. They need someone who already has the skills and experience so they can keep mining efficiently.
2. Talk to me anyway
   Counterintuitive? Potentially. But you never know what the future holds or what else I have on the market. Don't apply to the job. Send me an email with your CV and what you're looking for - Location, Dollars, commodity - and let me keep an eye out for you.
3. I can't read your mind. And I don't want to. Satan knows what's happening in there.
   The more information on your CV and cover letter, the clearer the picture I have of where your skills and experience lie and what work you are hunting for. If you flick through a CV with very little information and no cover letter, all I can see is that you don't give a Cane Toad's behind about the role.
4. Have a legitimate crack at the role.
   Sell yourself. Ask questions.
5. Convince me you have a better reading comprehension than a hungry porcupine.
   READ THE ADVERTISEMENT and tell me why you're suitable. 

Read the law. Know the law. Enforce the law. Bogan's law - For Applying for Jobs You Saw on the Internet. 

Bogan's Pet Hate: Useless online updates. I really don't care if your cat shat on your rug this morning and I definitely don't need a picture to immortalise this moment in history.